DOG OBEDIENCE BASIC TRAINING ADULT DOGS
# of classes: 6 Total course length: 3 hours (R=Benny's owner)
Greetings! Prince Benito here! Known to you two-legged animals as 'Benny', I am indeed most notorious for my adherence to R, (who is devoted to serving my needs), and for my scrappy attitude towards anything else that moves. These traits (attributed to "hybrid vigour" by the vet, no less) have been enhanced by living in splendid isolation on my personal estate on Saturna Island.
I had intended to dispatch to the Scribbler some exciting adventures of my expeditions to foreign shores. In fact I was all prepped with my spiffy Mexican haircut when we took off for Victoria six weeks ago, but things didn't quite work out as planned and it's a hairier story I have to tell.
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Week 1Something very out of the ordinary happened today. I thought we were out for a nice walk around Oak Bay when R decided to take me into this horrible 'Rec. Centre' place. Horrors! It was full of dogs! I absolutely hate other dogs. They are nothing but competition for the universal food bowl and everyone knows I am my mistress' self-appointed personal guard dog. Big or small, I attack on sight. And in return, R is supposed to pick me up for cuddles if anything threatens me.
Week 1Something very out of the ordinary happened today. I thought we were out for a nice walk around Oak Bay when R decided to take me into this horrible 'Rec. Centre' place. Horrors! It was full of dogs! I absolutely hate other dogs. They are nothing but competition for the universal food bowl and everyone knows I am my mistress' self-appointed personal guard dog. Big or small, I attack on sight. And in return, R is supposed to pick me up for cuddles if anything threatens me.So it was a terrible shock when R obeyed the Leader Woman and didn't pick me up. I tired to hide behind her legs and when that failed, I went under the chairs. No luck they yanked me out and then the Leader picked me up. It was awful. She touched me all over. I just don't react well to this kind of thing.
Thank dog it's over, I'll never go near there again.
·Week 2 Can you believe it?! Dragged back to that place again; it was worse than the vet's. Horrible great dogs all unruly and slobbering. I was in such a panic and getting no help from R. She just will not pick me up.
Week 2 Can you believe it?! Dragged back to that place again; it was worse than the vet's. Horrible great dogs all unruly and slobbering. I was in such a panic and getting no help from R. She just will not pick me up. After last week R got this lemon squeezer idea which the Leader Woman (curses on her) had suggested, because it works on pitbulls. I was flattered if they thought I was pit-bullish and tried to pretend I liked the taste of lemon. But let me tell you, it wasn't good after a couple of squirts in connection with a bit of harmless barking and biting, I had to act a little more discreetly in showing my fearsome nature to every passing mutt and child. Later I got squirted just for a warning growl. It's a total lack of appreciation for my great in-bred qualities. ( Oops, I meant purebred.)
The bossy Leader Woman wanted us to sit, down, stand, stay and come on command. Easy when I do it on my own, but try getting me to walk in a circle with other dogs behind and in front of, I can't concentrate at all. Though I must say there have been a lot of treats handed out (catfood my fave). Maybe there is some connection between what I so and what I get.
·Week 3Just unbelievable! We went there again!! As soon as we got in the door, I turned the other way and thought I'd make a quick escape but the door was closed. R was in line and ready to start playing the meet and greet game when she saw I wasn't in place (next to her feet, where I always am). My tail was down I can tell you. Meet and greet? I only know meet-and-attack but one look at the lemon squeezer this week reminded me of past indignities so we didn't go there.
Week 3Just unbelievable! We went there again!! As soon as we got in the door, I turned the other way and thought I'd make a quick escape but the door was closed. R was in line and ready to start playing the meet and greet game when she saw I wasn't in place (next to her feet, where I always am). My tail was down I can tell you. Meet and greet? I only know meet-and-attack but one look at the lemon squeezer this week reminded me of past indignities so we didn't go there. I shook for 10 minutes with the horrors till I tasted those catfood handouts again. It's hard keeping your eyes on the treats and on the big monsters next to you. Some of them are very unpredictable. At 'playtime' (in which I do not participate), one great loutish hairy creature tumbled right over me, knocking me off my feet. I was too shocked and mortified to react. Paralyzed with fear and loathing I was.
Week 4I knew it! We were headed in that direction again and sure enough, all the same beasts were there. I was ready for them this time. I bravely kept my tail up (mostly) and hardly bared a tooth, though my lips trembled once of twice, and a bit of a growl escaped under pressure.
I knew it! We were headed in that direction again and sure enough, all the same beasts were there. I was ready for them this time. I bravely kept my tail up (mostly) and hardly bared a tooth, though my lips trembled once of twice, and a bit of a growl escaped under pressure. We played those musical chairs: the owner whose dog didn't sit fast enough was out- what a silly game. I know how to sit, in fact I was so nervous I dared not do anything except what I was told. Then the Leader made us weave in and out of each other; well that was no picnic. But apart from sliding on my back legs around a few very bug brutes, I made it. Next she tried to trick us with chunky treats on the floor right under our noses. We were supposed to leave it in case it was posion or something. I knew it wasn't poison but obedience is relentless.
At 'playtime' I let the smallest dog come near me. She is smaller that my own mother and not much of a threat. Of course I ignored her and tried to eat her treats as well as my own.
·Week 5 Tail down again this week! We did load of sits and stays; I hate it when R leaves me sitting amongst those other dogs. There was a new one a huge German Shepherd just sprung out of the SPCA pound and completely out of control. I sure avoided him. We played (played?!) run the gauntlet wherein I had to pass a line of dogs on both sides to reach the haven of R's legs. Scared witless I was and cringing mightily, keeping my beady eyes on every hound. Miraculously, they all stayed put so I made it OK. Boy, I was glad to get out of there! What I'm picking up at these repeated torture sessions is that I can fake it till it's over and then life goes back to the way it was (should be).
Week 5 Tail down again this week! We did load of sits and stays; I hate it when R leaves me sitting amongst those other dogs. There was a new one a huge German Shepherd just sprung out of the SPCA pound and completely out of control. I sure avoided him. We played (played?!) run the gauntlet wherein I had to pass a line of dogs on both sides to reach the haven of R's legs. Scared witless I was and cringing mightily, keeping my beady eyes on every hound. Miraculously, they all stayed put so I made it OK. Boy, I was glad to get out of there! What I'm picking up at these repeated torture sessions is that I can fake it till it's over and then life goes back to the way it was (should be).·Week 6One more time! Shook like a leaf and tail down for the first five minutes. We were put through our paces same old sit and stay routines, leave it and run the gauntlet again, musical chairs no problemo for me. There was an audience of adjudicators children and adults with nothing better to do I suppose. Bossy Leader Woman was in a good mood told R I could sign up for next agility class wherein I would be jumping through hoops I don't think so!.
Week 6One more time! Shook like a leaf and tail down for the first five minutes. We were put through our paces same old sit and stay routines, leave it and run the gauntlet again, musical chairs no problemo for me. There was an audience of adjudicators children and adults with nothing better to do I suppose. Bossy Leader Woman was in a good mood told R I could sign up for next agility class wherein I would be jumping through hoops I don't think so!.Suddenly a host of biscuits appeared, delicious ones, all different flavours. I ate as many as I could and R stuffed her pockets. What was the big deal? From all the congrats and praise you'd think we were never going to meet again. Just in case this might be true, on the way out of the parking lot and well out of range, I gave those dogs a couple of good loud barks specially to let them know that none of this training nonsense had any effect on the real me.
Yours fiercely,
Benito the Graduate.
